For Kin and Country

dedicated to the never ending flame that lights the Amar Jawan...

For Kin & Country

Walking through the woods at night
While mothers sleep away alright,
An ambush is setup for us,
I am that son, I refuse to die.

We were five, my brothers & I,
Wore uniforms, held ourselves high,
Their bullets pierced along my arms
I am that son, I refuse to die.

We took our guard, my brothers & I
Trees around heard all our cry,
We ran towards one that was high
I am that son, I refuse to die.

The night was dark, all black n gray,
the air was chill, as cold as hay,
When a silent bush blew up so close
I am that son, I refuse to die.

In that light I saw at once,
The face of a man and gun at once
So fierce with a look let bullets he fly
I am that son, I refuse to die.

I ducked, I crawled, I slept on it all,
Let thorns thru my chest yet arms were strong,
I am a soldier, I heave no sigh,
I am that son, I refuse to die.

With all our strength my men & I,
Fired back each round, our guns held high
when one by one we killed them all
I am that son, I refuse to die.

They ran away with all their ride
When long at once I heard them cry
My men were back to kick their arse
I am that son, I refuse to die.

The Army came to save us now,
was then I saw, oh holy cow,
An air vent hole right through my chest
I am that son, I refuse to die.

We killed them all, my men & I,
Played with death and not with dye,
God so much blood I have on me
I am a son, I refuse to die.

I cannot lose any more hope
For hope is what I always have,
For all my mother and my land,
I am a son, I refuse to die.

As doctors clench my arm to help
I find within their eyes a cry
I can afford a smile right now,
For once, I know I have to die.

Let mother know my life's book
For life is what she cannot cook.

Go tell her living mind in all

her son was well, he will not fall.

My country has a soul all know,

in peace and war wont stand too low, 

For every Me that dies tonight

A million more will rise to fight.

A million more will rise to fight.

Farther in Law

Dedicated to a father whose daughter I got married to: My feet wobbling, my blood boiling, A part of me was born again, my sweet lil girl, my darling. she'd eyes of her mother, a cheek which was flatter, A part of me was born again for all I know I was her Father she grew up in front of my eyes, not tall at all yet high Fives, today I look beneath myself, for all I know Time just flies. I did not know who I am I hadn't felt it so clear, for all I know within myself, I am her Dad, she's my fear. I wasn't much a talker, wasn't much a hawker, for my love was too deep, God I am her Father. I asked myself If she knows, that my love for her was beyond all woes, I lied to myself, but my eyes couldn't lie, she knows. she walked out in that wedding dress today, as I looked at her all day, tears rolled down on their own for all I know I'd nothing to say. I did not know who I am I hadn't felt it so clear, for all I know within myself, I am her Dad, she's my fear. I fought with her loud and clear, but beneath my cover she was my dear, today as she walked into that stage, I stood there gripping all my fear. In her happiness I had fold myself, In her joy I had forgotten my self, today right here she's going away, and here I am staring at that empty shelf. Today I know who I am I never knew so clear, for all I knew within myself, I am her Dad, to hell with fear.

The Hidden Tooth

My little nephew, barely 18 month old was playing around my sofa, trying to slurp his hidden tooth, when his ever thirsty sight inadvertently fell on the elusive TV Remote. In a matter of seconds, that TV remote was all he wanted. It looked as if a Lokmanya Tilak had awakened inside him  for he was moving as if repeating, "The Remote is my Birthright...and I shall have it". Like an unstoppable cloud he kept on trying to move around me to reach that remote, trying everything in his limit to get around the seemingly gigantic Mount Everest that stood in front him. Even his primary weapon, "The Stare of Innocence", failed to work as I was determined not to let this poor defenseless unarmed TV remote be mercilessly tortured and have itself dismembered and dragged around before being thrown into a Lake of Pee. 18 months, and that little boy was already an expert at warfare - He called in his allies with his SOS (which is a monotonous signal which any ally could Comprehend-Respond-You, also called C.R.Y): He freaking cried. I had lost. His allies pounded me with their brutal assault. Within moments, the Mount Everest had collapsed, within seconds the cries silenced and within minutes the Remote was in The Lake of Pee.

The whole evening we (including the little boy, his allies, and me) were forced to watch a frivolously shouting and aimlessly blabbering Arnab Goswami who was repeating "MrSanjayJhaMrSanjayJhaMrSanjayJha " (yes, No Spaces) and Mr Sanjay Jha repeating "ArnabArnab Arnab" endlessly as if they were both being paid to say the other person's name. Never mind. We all deserve this. We've all tortured Mother Nature and its Environment so bad, it was bound to throw back at us at least one Arnab Goswami and one Sanjay Jha. The only person, however, who was enjoying that sight with his full-hearted and selfless egoless and  interestingly breakless laugh was also the reason we weren't able to change the channel. In 18 months, the little boy trying to slurp his hidden tooth had changed that so called super-prime-time-firing-debate into Tellytubbies.

I had no choice but to awaken the Engineer in me. Yes, that was perhaps the only time I got to show off my engineering skills. Before you imagine anything..No, I didn't repair that TV Remote. I rushed to the cablewala and bought a new remote. Exactly what Engineering had taught me, "When the going gets tough...buy a new car" (RTMNU - By Rashtrasant Tukdoji Maharaj, Vol 3 Verse 3:16). I returned to a champion welcome, took all the accolades, gave an angry stare to that hidden tooth boy, and walked like Jason Statham. I soon realized that Jason Statham generally walks like that when some new car is about to blow up behind him. The new car did blow up. I, the Engineer, the Champion Engineer, the Opportunist, the perfectionist, had forgot to buy batteries. I tried to use the old ones and what followed was exactly the kind of an Engineer I was...A mix of Arnab Goswami, Arvind Kejriwal and Pikachu: All words, no show, and yellow.

My last attempt somehow helped me go ahead by one channel. So now were all watching BBC. And what that channel showed, moved me. I, with an 18 month old baby on my lap, was watching young injured barely 18 month old babies and kids being carried away by their wailing fathers in Gaza. There was no noise in those images and yet they were a blow to my mind. There was no shrapnel in that video and yet it had pierced through my heart. I was staring at a child, as old as the one on my lap, being faced with an assault of the most brutal kind. For a kid so small, there is no country, no policy and no religion. For a kid so small, there is never an Arnab Goswami or Sanjay Jha, no ceasefire nor treaty. For a child so small, there is no war. His only weapon is his innocence, and his only bullet is his stare.

Within moments, we were all staring at the sheer luck that we were on the other side of the Mount Everest but one which could collapse any moment. Within moments we were all staring at the sheer helplessness of Engineers like me in trying to stop real cars from blowing up in real markets. While we all were staring at the harshest form of reality that BBC showed....within moments it was all over...I had Lost again...for within moments the new remote was in The Lake of Pee.

Absolutely Untitled..

I need to find time to write, to dance around, to sing loud, to laugh, to enjoy. But what I've realized over time is I need to find time to live. They say that work is what makes a kid a man. I find it difficult to believe that a man is born at the cost of the kid. I enjoy being the kid, for it is the kid in me that keeps me the way I am. It is the kid in me that laughs out loud, sings and dances around, enjoys. In this absolutely untitled world, It is this kid that keeps me alive, for I am that untitled kid.

They all say that you need to do something you've always wanted to, something you enjoy, something you love most, something that you are passionate about. And here I am, the idiot that I am, finding it difficult to understand the difference. All this time I've been on an unknown pursuit of the work that amazes me most, the work that-as they say-I am passionate about. And although I have traveled pretty far, I'm yet to find that one thing for at the end of all tunnels I find myself standing perplexed yet undisturbed. I find my own reflection which eerily stares at my face with peaceful eyes and even without uttering a word it erases all that's written in my mind -word by word.

I have no idea where this journey is taking me, nor do I know in which direction. But it is this very journey that has given me a pearl-like family, gold-like happiness, and diamond-like friends. It is this journey that has made me fall in love with these wild yet cricket crazy streets, with these nagging yet peaceful neighbors, with these crazy yet innocent kids. In this journey I may be alone, but who cares, I live in a world filled with worries, with ego, with jealousy, and with filthy politics. Who'd want partners when you know it is all walking slowly towards doom. Amidst all these worries, it is this journey that has given me my wings. I can fly over all this and still be me. These wings are mine, and this is what powers me through time.

I have grown up now. There's plenty of work. And today as I happened to hold my little kid nephew in my arms I saw what this journey was telling me all the while. In a far mirror was the end of the tunnel, I was an image of chaos while the kid in my arms was looking at my eyes-perplexed yet undisturbed. I was looking at the mirror and it was the kid who was eerily staring at my face with peaceful eyes and without uttering a single word he erased all the chaos that was written in my mind - word by word. And with a smile he'd said it all, that it was the kid in me that I always wanted to be, it was being that kid that I enjoyed most. Amidst all worries, I want to be the kid in me. To hell with the world, to hell with the man that is born at the cost of the kid, I am and will always be a kid inside, to hell with this absolutely untitled world ....for I am that Untitled Kid.