Mao Jao..

Its been long. People dying for no cause. People being killed for no fault of theirs. People killed by their own countrymen. It feels no good to be seeing that too often. People killing fellow countrymen without even knowing the reason why.
Few days back i had the chance to know what must have been going through the minds of the killers about why they did all that they did(!). I read an interview of Arundhati Roy (thanx to Bro's classmate Vinay), only to realize some things of the other side. But i cannot find a convincing reason to kill innocents. I am a fan of Ms. Roy, but still I found no reason good enough to answer the cry of the 2 yr old son of a slain soldier. I found nothing that could justify the bombing of a school meant for tribals. I found no reason to call the bloody naxalites 'Indians'.
I understand that the people have faced terrible atrocities and they are forced to take up arms. I truly understand it when she says," What can one do when one's wife is being raped.?, take up arms.." Absolutely true. When it comes to such a situation, even i would take up arms. I would have had no problem with that. But will i shoot some one who had nothing to do with it?? Will i just shoot anyone who looks like the rapist.?? Aren't these Naxals taking arms against the wrong enemy.?? Aren't they shooting with a blind eye ?

The problem i know is not easy to be solved. The villagers in those areas are victims of cruel actions by some police officials, certainly there are such officials who deserve to be hanged by the noose with absolutely no mercy. But then there are also police officials who work for their welfare, who work to remove such problems, who work to remove the stains caused by the bad men in their own dept. Why do these officers die to naxal fire.?? By the time the naxals reach the bad man's office, the bad man would have fled miles away, and left an honest scapegoat to be mercilessly killed in vengeance. By the time the badman reaches his hideout, the other man is beheaded, and his head held up for public view. This may not be Maoism, but this sure is Naxalism in India. I am sorry Ms. Roy, i cannot say to the family of the dead soldier that he died because of a people's war. I am sorry Ms. Roy, I don't call this "people's war".
If it's injustice they are fighting against then why are they not interested in peace.? They have raised their voice loud enough to be heard by everyone and still they call themselves Maoists and kill more people who have nothing to do with it. In fact the reasons Ms. Roy has mentioned are no different than the reasons why the LTTE was born. The modus operandi is no different than that of the Taliban. The only difference being that the Naxals are in India, the LTTE in Srilanka. And if the Naxals continue what they've been doing for longer, they'll definitely end up where the LTTE is right now...heaven or perhaps hell.

The only solution for the atrocities faced by the poor in those areas in through talks, which can only be possible if the naxals stop violence. Unconditional talks, as Ms. Roy expects, is stupid. That's something like having a meeting with them in a room while they kill people outside the room!! What we need is a Govt which can hear the the people's calls. A judiciary which does not hesitate in hanging corrupt officers, a system where corruption is held similar to terrorism. Till then, no matter how many Ms. Roys or Chidambarams come in, we'll have someone somewhere who'll be taking up a gun and will start shooting in the dark.

Buck Buck Buckwaas!!

The Home Minister says, "The Buck stops at the CM's table.", and with that starts a blame game where every other politician puts an indirect blame on some other politician for the massacre of armed men from the Central Reserve Police Force by the bloody Naxalites.

All this seems to have ended with another "buck" as the Home Minister takes the blame on himself and says," The Buck stops at my table". All bull shit. Buck shit. As these power people keep blaming each other, the bloody Naxalites have blown up another school in Aurangabad. The stupid blame game is never gonna stop what these bloody Naxalites have been doing. They will continue killing innocent people, they will continue blowing hospitals to smithereens, they will continue killing brave doctors. And all these power people do after all that is say "we are deeply hurt", " What happened is wrong", and worse they say, " I had offered to resign" ( reminds me of my school days when i used to say " Did Homework but forgot copy!!" ), and then they'll say, " the Buck stops bla bla bla...". All Buckwaaas..!

When the terrorists attacked Mumbai, did we ever think which country those attackers belonged to? Even if we did, would anyone forgive them if they were Indians? Would we ever be ready for stupid talks with them.? Hell no!! All we care about is their death, all we want is their elimination, all we wish is to uproot them from their bloody tips of their bloody roots. How different are these Naxals to those terrorists.?? The Naxals are also against our democracy, they too kill people mercilessly, they too plant bombs, ambush the police, behead innocents. But why on Earth are we not thinking of eliminating them? Why is the Army not brought in to remove them completely? Why no Air-force.??? Why do we call them Indians? The Home minister says, "the Naxals are finally fellow Indians and so we wont use the Army", I refuse to call these killers 'Indians'. I find no difference between their leader Kishenji (or whatever) and Mullah Omar. I don't see them as our brothers. I don't see them as Men, I don't see them as Indians.

All that i see is a 3 yr old son weeping in front of his father's dead body, a young wife weeping for her newly wed husband who was shot dead by them, a 10 yr old boy who'll wait forever for the bicycle his father promised, Mother of a brave son-who was due to get married next week-weeping in front of his son's motionless body. They don't care what the Home Minister says, they don't care what the bloody Naxals demanded, they don't care why they fired , for all they cared for was lying in front of them, wrapped in the Indian flag , and all they could see were the last sights of the son they brought up with utmost care being brought on four shoulders in a wooden box, all they hear is not the speech of the CM, but the last gunshots fired in front of their son's coffin. For them, the Buck will never stop...

The Insignia of Freedom.

"So close, no matter how far,
Couldn't be much more from the heart,
Forever trusted who you are,
And nothing else matters..."

18 months. All it takes to reach hell. One month. All it takes to come out. A month back, I was in no place within me. Down to the bottom all drained out. I had no idea what i was worth of. I didn't know what to do. I needed some sleep. So i did. I was hibernating. And now, as days just walked past like wind and nights flew like dust, i didn't realize that i was being healed by the greatest healer ever....Time.

" It took all the strength i had not to fall apart,
kept thinking how to mend the pieces of my broken heart"

Time had started its work. It didn't matter to me if i had great scores or not. I was no longer down. I was getting up, getting up to be myself again, getting up to be what i was, what i am and what i will be, no matter what comes in front of me, be it a result, be it marks, be it staring faces, be it hell.

"And i spent all so many nights thinking sorry for myself,
i used to cry, but now i hold my head up high."

I may have stepped on a sharp pebble with soft feet on my first step, but i am no loser to stop running. I am no quitter to start quitting. I had learnt how to face failure, and i was just getting better. I was just out of hell. And i was ready to run. Run harder. I was free. I don't know what powered me on, but i was sure i knew i was lighter, and i was still on my way to my dreams. Time had helped me stick it up, it was no longer shattered, Time had made the dream stronger. Time had made me stronger.

" ...Trust i seek, and i find in you,
Everyday for something new,
Opened mind for a different view,
And nothing else matters."

I was awake. My eyes open, eyebrows down, I looked into the mirror. I knew i was better. I was slimmer, but not weak. I was down, but not out. I may have lost a battle, but the war was still on, and i was not ready to give up. I was ready to fight. Fight my past, in my present, for my future.

"You think I'd crumble you think I'd lay down and die,
Oh no, not I, I will survive."

For all my friends who helped me when i needed them, Friends who told me what i was, what i meant to them, Friends who made me realize that i had learned something not many would love to learn, I am up, all woken up. All fired up. The fire's in my eyes, my words are really clear, so Just beat it!!!!

Hell Yeahhh i am back!!!!!!!!